1989
by theslytherinrose
Summary: A series of Lucissa drabbles relating to each track on Taylor Swift's album 1989.
1. Welcome To New York

**A/N: I thought it would be fun to write a series of drabbles with a common theme, and writing "Safe & Sound" gave me an idea. Each chapter of this will relate to a song from Taylor Swift's album _1989_ , which I definitely do not own in any way. In the spirit of the album's title, each drabble will state what year it takes place. The first was the most difficult, as New York isn't exactly somewhere Narcissa and Lucius would be, but I focused on another part of the song.  
**

* * *

 _ **01\. Welcome To New York**_

 **" _Like any true love, it drives you crazy, but you know you wouldn't change anything"_**

 **1980**

Narcissa stirred, feeling there was something wrong with Lucius's breathing. She could feel the cold sweat separating his chest from her back and the erraticism of his breaths, and she noted the shift in his hand's position from her waist to over her heart. She rolled over with a bit of difficulty, due to her stomach, round with the late stages of pregnancy, and opened her eyes sleepily to look at him.

"What's wrong?"

Lucius opened his eyes, reaching for Narcissa's hand and linking his through it. He drew her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers gently.

"It's nothing. I had a nightmare, that's all."

Narcissa smiled softly as he kissed her fingers, and then she noticed a long, jagged gash in his chest. She lifted her free hand to trace alongside it tentatively, not touching the wound itself to avoid hurting him further. He'd left on a task for the Dark Lord several hours before she'd given in to the need to sleep, and she'd awoken for a few moments when he'd returned and climbed into bed beside her. She'd been facing away from him, though, and hadn't noticed that he'd returned home with a violent souvenir.

"You sure?" she asked.

Lucius sighed. "Yes, I'm sure. It's the dream that was bothering me, not this. I was afraid I'd lost you."

"Hush, now." Narcissa pulled Lucius's hand toward her, her turn to kiss his fingers lightly. "I'm not going anywhere. Except perhaps to get my wand so that I can help you."

"No, Cissy, I'm fine, really. Just stay here, please?" His eyes were imploring, and he squeezed her hand more tightly.

Narcissa sighed, shaking her head. "You're impossible." Still, she smiled lovingly at him. "It will only require me reaching over to my night table, darling. I don't want you to be in pain."

Lucius grinned despite himself. " _I'm_ impossible?" He chuckled. "All right, if it will put your mind at ease."

"It will." Smiling, Narcissa leaned forward to attempt to kiss him, which was more difficult in this position in her heavily-pregnant state than she wanted to admit. She squeaked involuntarily as she tried to lean toward her husband.

Lucius chuckled, grinning wider at Narcissa's effort. He lifted his head and leaned forward to kiss her softly. "You're beautiful."

Narcissa blushed. "I'm not. I'm fat."

Lucius let out a loud laugh. " _What?_ "

Narcissa frowned. "I'm fat. Don't laugh."

"Narcissa, you're not _fat._ You're _with child._ You're due anytime, and even then, the only thing even remotely changed is this." He laid their joined hands on her stomach, and as he did so, she felt the baby kick. Lucius paused, staring at the spot from which the movement had come. Narcissa smiled warmly.

"If you say so, love. Now hold still a moment." She halfway rolled over again to reach for the table and grab her wand.


	2. Blank Space

**A/N:** **Please don't go into this expecting the actually-crazy-ex-girlfriend thing. I won't do that to Narcissa. But she does have some less-than-savory exes. Side-note: thank you for the reviews. It's nice to see so many Lucissa fans. :) Just so you all know, they're literally all I write (on here), so if you like these drabbles, I've got quite a few other things about these two.  
**

* * *

 _ **02\. Blank Space**_

 **" _Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane"_**

 **1977**

He would've chosen literally anyone else to be paired with for this mission. Even Rookwood would've been much preferable to the man Lucius was now forced to walk beside on the path toward the house concealing the people they'd been sent to interrogate.

* * *

" _What's this from?"_

 _Narcissa frowned, following the movement of Lucius's fingertips with her eyes as he traced the faded white line on her right thigh. He knew that look. She was considering making an excuse of some kind or avoiding answering altogether, but she was also considering telling him. He knew she'd come to know him well enough to anticipate that he didn't plan to drop the matter easily. The scar was clear enough that it must've been produced by magical means, and its location led to a long list of questions that had begun to form in his mind._

 _"Thorfinn," she said at last._

 _Lucius's hand tensed on reflex, and Narcissa looked up at him as she laid her own over it._

 _"It was a long time ago."_

 _"What did he do?" His voice had left his lips much harder than he'd meant to allow, and he only hoped she knew its edge wasn't intended for her._

 _She let out long sigh and rested her head on his shoulder. "When Mother insisted that I see him, I knew how he was, and I tried not to be alone with him, if I could avoid it. But it happened eventually. He tried to get me to sleep with him, and to shorten the story, I left and made it clear to my family that I had no intention of seeing him again, but not before I lost my temper enough to slap him and he lost his enough to use magic."_

 _Lucius's jaw clenched tightly. He shifted the satin of Narcissa's nightgown back into place over her leg and raised his hand to trail his fingers through her hair._

 _"I could easily kill him and make it look like an accident."_

 _Narcissa sat up quickly, looking to him with wide eyes. "Lucius_ — _"_

 _"He deserves it, and I doubt the Dark Lord would suspect anything."_

 _She shook her head, climbing onto his lap from her seat beside him on the chaise and resting her forehead against his. "No, darling. I appreciate that more than I can tell you, and I love you so much. But don't lower yourself to the level of someone like that."_

 _"No promises," Lucius muttered._

* * *

"You're awfully quiet, Malfoy."

Lucius knew the sidelong glare he cast in Thorfinn Rowle's direction was lost behind his own mask. He said nothing.

"You used to be more fun," said Rowle, kicking a twig out of his path as they moved toward the house. "I knew marrying _her_ wouldn't be good for you."

"The hell's that supposed to mean?" Lucius snapped.

"She's mad. We used to see one another, you remember. That girl attacked me—nearly broke my nose. I just hope for your sake that she's less of a prude, now."

 _The Dark Lord had better forgive me._

Lucius drew his wand and, with a flick of his wrist, sent a non-verbal _Diffindo_ across the other man's chest. Rowle crumpled to the ground with a gasp somewhere between agonized and indignant, and Lucius rolled his eyes.

"You'll be fine. You won't bleed out before I finish the mission. Stay here and rest," he said, his tone dripping sarcasm. He turned toward the house, paused, and then faced Rowle once again. Lucius drew back his foot and kicked the other man hard in the nose, and the satisfying _crack_ that broke the air on the impact echoed in his ears as he continued down the path.


	3. Style

_**03\. Style**_

 **" _You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye, and I got that red lip, classic thing that you like"_**

 **1978**

Narcissa paid no mind to the eyes she felt watching her as she allowed Lucius to pull her from the ballroom and into the corridor outside. The only eyes she cared about at the moment were his, and he'd been staring at her as they danced—surrounded by a multitude of guests—as though he either deeply wanted to say something or was considering pinning her against the wall.

He led her down the corridor and around the corner without a word, and then they were alone. His gaze was intense as he moved closer, and her heart began to pound.

"I hope you know," Lucius muttered, his breath warm against Narcissa's cheek as he spoke into her ear, "how good you look in that dress."

Narcissa's stomach fluttered, and she rested her hands on his shoulders to pull him closer. She'd chosen this particular dress to match her favorite shade of red lipstick, and the color was much bolder than her typical choices for formal parties. It was also a bit tighter—more streamlined than the puffy skirts she'd always been forced into by her mother. Now that she'd been married for nearly a year, she'd decided there was no harm in taking her choices into her own hands, and it seemed that this particular choice had obtained its desired effect.

"Thank you," she said quietly, brushing her lips over her husband's jaw. "We really shouldn't stay gone for long, love. We don't want to give them reason to talk."

He sighed, and she shifted one of her hands from his shoulder to run through his hair.

"But they'll be gone in a few hours," said Narcissa, turning her head to give him a quick but passionate kiss.

"Good." Lucius smirked when he pulled back, running his hand lightly down his wife's waist. Narcissa shivered. "Let's go back, then, and get this over with."


	4. Out Of The Woods

_**04\. Out Of The Woods**_

 **" _But the monsters turned out to be just trees, when the sun came up you were looking at me"_**

 **1995**

Narcissa woke with a start, her mind somewhere between her dream and waking reality and her hand tensing on Lucius's arm instinctively where it lay draped over her waist. She'd hoped that the memories of her parents would cease to bother her eventually, but now, even when Cygnus and Druella were both deceased, their words and intimidations continued to pervade their youngest daughter's dreams. Narcissa doubted she would ever be able to completely forget.

Lucius tightened his arm around her. "What's wrong? Are you all right?"

She squeezed his arm and forced a deep breath through her lungs. "Sorry... Just a bad dream, my love." She hadn't meant to wake him with her sudden movement, and her guilt for doing so added to the self-depreciating thoughts called to the surface of her mind by the images of her parents was almost too much to bear.

Narcissa knew she was strong. She knew she had come far in dealing with the damage Cygnus and Druella had inflicted on her psyche, but she detested the way that even in death they could make her feel so weak.

Lucius kissed Narcissa's hair, his thumb rubbing her hand gently. "Do you want to tell me?"

She sighed and scooted closer to him. "It was my parents. I was a teenager, still living with them, and they wouldn't let me come to see you. They kept me locked in the house and kept telling me how I wasn't good enough. How much of a disappointment I was—how I'd never be anything worthwhile. You know, the usual."

Lucius held her more tightly. "You know that's all nonsense, don't you? Everything they said is a complete load of rubbish, in the dream and when they really said it."

Tears stung Narcissa's eyes. Her husband was the only one to whom she'd ever detailed exactly what had gone on between her and her parents, apart from the sisters who'd endured it alongside her.

"Cissy, turn and look at me, okay?"

She didn't particularly want to let him see her break down, but she knew he wouldn't judge her for doing so. She turned in his arms to face him and found that he was watching her with concern. "Hm?"

He leaned close to kiss her forehead. "They're all lies. Your parents couldn't have been more wrong, and I'm fairly certain they only said what they did to make themselves feel better about being terrible, awful people who never knew how to give a daughter the love she deserved. Look what it did to your sisters. Bella doesn't know how to love, or if she does, it's very few people. Andromeda got away, and Mudblood aside, I really don't know how anyone can blame her. You tried to mend things despite the way your parents treated you, and that's more than they deserved. But I'm so proud that despite them, you have the most love in you of anyone I've ever known. They didn't think you'd become anything. You became everything they didn't know how to be. You're an incredible woman and an amazing mother, not to mention the best wife I can imagine." Lucius leaned in to meet Narcissa's lips gently. "Don't listen to them."

She smiled, her vision clouding with her tears. "Thank you, my darling. You're so good at chasing away my nightmares." She reached up to trace his cheek.


	5. All You Had To Do Was Stay

**A/N: I hate writing about the period they weren't together. I tried to gloss over it quickly in _Fifty Shades of Lucissa_ , but with so many of Taylor's songs being focused on breakups, it's inevitable. I'm trying to stick with the "getting back together" side. Also, Belle345: I wanted to reply to your reviews but can't send you a PM, so I thought I'd tell you here how much I appreciate them. I'm glad you like the fics. Thank you to everyone else who's reviewed, as well. I appreciate it greatly. **

* * *

_**05\. All You Had To Do Was Stay**_

 **" _Hey, all you had to do was stay, had me in the palm of your hand"_**

 **1974**

Lucius reached up to fidget with the silver mask obscuring the top half of his face, shifting it a millimeter to the right. Barely a second passed before he shifted it back, aware that it had been in place the first time and that he needed to stop letting his nerves get the better of him if he planned to get through tonight in one piece.

As he crossed the threshold into the Blacks' ballroom, one thought replayed in his mind like some sick broken record designed to convince him to turn back.

 _This isn't going to work._

After all, he had been striving nonstop months to persuade Narcissa to give him another chance, and he was relatively certain that he'd actually hurt his case more than helped it with his refusal to give up.

He was still madly in love with her. As much as he had tried to convince himself that he wasn't, that he could move on and accept that it was over, he knew he would never be all right with that. He _knew_ she still loved him. After everything they'd been through together, she'd come to know him better than he knew himself, and he knew the reverse was true, as well. She was his world—the one thing he could cling to when the world turned dark and he realized exactly how much he hated what he was becoming.

He needed to tell her all that and more.

Lucius rolled his shoulders backward and inhaled deeply, forcing himself not to show an ounce of the tension that filled every inch of his body as he watched Narcissa and Augustus move slowly in time with the music at the center of the floor. The sight of his former friend with his hands on the woman Lucius loved was enough to bring to the front of his mind the idea of reaching for his wand, but he held himself back, if just barely.

He couldn't stand it.

His eyes fell on Narcissa's left hand on Augustus's shoulder as they turned, and Lucius's stomach twisted as he was reminded of exactly what he was trying to do. There had once been a ring on that hand that he himself had given her, and he would be damned if he was going to give up on her now.


	6. Shake It Off

_**06\. Shake It Off**_

 **" _And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake"_**

 **1993**

Lucius stared at the wall of the lounge with an intensity that would've likely melted a hole in the paneling, if he watched it for much longer. He'd been sitting rigidly watching the same spot since he'd returned from Hogwarts, and he was no closer to moving now than he had been twenty minutes ago when Narcissa had left the room after his explanation of why their house-elf would not be returning to Malfoy Manor.

 _We're going to be ridiculed. That's it_ _—there's no getting around it. No respectable Pureblood family goes without an elf. If it weren't for that blasted Potter and his insistence on meddling in absolutely everything…_ Even as he thought the words, Lucius knew he couldn't entirely blame the situation on the boy. Had Lucius not lost his temper with Arthur Weasley that day in Flourish and Blotts and gotten into a physical altercation, the diary never would've ended up at the school. After his stop at Borgin and Burkes, Lucius had been planning to deposit the item the Dark Lord had entrusted to him years earlier in his own vault at Gringotts. He hadn't wanted to sell it along with the other items he'd wanted removed from the Manor; whatever reason the Dark Lord had had for giving it to him, Lucius hadn't felt right getting rid of the diary entirely even now that his master was long gone, but he'd known he couldn't have it lying about when the Ministry followed Weasley's prodding and decided to come snooping about Lucius's home.

He hadn't anticipated being knocked into a bookshelf and losing the diary from beneath his cloak, only to discover later that Weasley's daughter had picked it up and unleashed a firestorm on the school, endangering the life of Lucius's son as well as every other student. Lucius had done everything within his power to remove Albus Dumbledore from control of the situation in favor of putting someone in charge who was competent enough to undo what Lucius had accidentally set into motion, but it had only resulted in his own removal from the Hogwarts Board of Governors and subsequent embarrassment.

He hadn't thought he could possibly feel worse. Then he'd lost the house-elf who had served his family since Lucius's childhood.

"Come on."

He jumped at the brush of lips against his cheek and the feeling of his cloak being draped over his shoulders. He turned his head to see Narcissa leaning over the back of the chair, a devious glint in her eyes.

"Where?" he asked cautiously.

"I'm getting you out of the house. I hate seeing you upset, and I'm not going to allow it."

Lucius sighed. "Narcissa, I really don't think—"

"No arguments," she said firmly. She ran her fingertips down his arm and slipped her hand through his, giving it a pull. He stood somewhat stiffly and turned to face her. "We're going out to supper, and then we're going dancing. I'm going to distract you, and that's that."

Despite his sour mood, he started to crack a smile. Still, his tone was cautious, when he spoke. "Explain to me why you don't seem angry."

Narcissa took a step closer, looking up into her husband's eyes. "Because I understand that sometimes things are out of our control. I know you didn't intend for any of this to happen. Am I a bit frustrated that we're without an elf? Yes. But that doesn't mean it's you I'm frustrated with. And let people talk—they always have, and they always will, no matter what we do. They'll shut up about this particular problem when we find a replacement. They're irrelevant. You, on the other hand, are not, and you've given yourself enough trouble for the both of us." She leaned up to kiss him softly. He smiled against her lips, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and thinking for what was likely the millionth time of how lucky he was to have her.


	7. I Wish You Would

**A/N: Again, I hate focusing on this period, but in order to fit the songs, it's necessary.**

* * *

 _ **07\. I Wish You Would**_

 **" _I wish we could go back and remember what we were fighting for"_**

 **1975**

Narcissa had spent the entirety of the last week in the seclusion of her chambers, refusing to join her family for meals or attend any of the social functions her mother attempted to push on her. Her behavior was inexcusable, according to Druella, but Narcissa couldn't have cared less. Her mind was far from her parents' home, and it was in a state of constant torment, as was her heart.

She lay on her gold satin sheets, her hair in disarray around her face as she stared at a downturned photograph that rested on the pillow beside her. Occasionally, when she was too distraught to remember the reason she had locked herself away to drown in these terrible feelings, she allowed herself to look at it. Now, though, she remembered all too well what she had done.

She had, in all probability, destroyed her life. She didn't need to see the moving image of herself standing beside Augustus, smiling and looking just as happy as she ever had, to remind herself of that.

Narcissa couldn't understand why it had taken her so long to come to terms with how she really felt. She reasoned that it came down to denial. After all, she'd known when she'd been with Lucius how completely enamored of him she was, and try as she might to persuade herself otherwise, that had never changed even for an instant. She'd known for a long time before she'd admitted it to him that she was falling madly in love.

She'd wanted to spare him pain, when she'd left.

She hadn't wanted to ask him to put her back together, when she'd lost the baby she hadn't been far enough along to tell him about, as she'd still been mentally sifting through the millions of ways she could find herself disowned, shunned, and ridiculed and him along with her. Seventeen had been too young for such pressure, and Narcissa knew she had handled everything completely wrong. She knew she should've run _to_ Lucius instead of away from him.

But it was too late, now, wasn't it?

He'd made one attempt after another to win her back since their separation, and she'd been too scared of her own failures and faults to allow him in again. Now that she'd realized that he was the one she wanted, what if he no longer wanted her?

She'd finally admitted to Augustus that her heart belonged to someone else and ended their relationship. _Yet another person_ ,she thought, _that I care about and that I never meant to hurt. And here we are._

She had no idea whether either of them would forgive her.

 _I wouldn't forgive me._

The sound of something hitting her window pulled Narcissa from her sulking. Frowning, she pushed herself up into a sitting position. She ran a hand through her long, blond hair and slid off the bed and to her feet, making her way to the source of the noise.

She froze in her tracks several paces from the window, her eyes wide and her heartbeat dangerously irregular. She had to be hallucinating. She closed her eyes tightly and opened them again, certain that when she did, this mental fabrication would fade and she would be alone again.

The image before her did not change.

She rushed to the window and threw up the glass before she found herself able to regain her composure. With a deep breath, she slowly stuck her head out the window and looked out onto the lawn.

"What on earth are you doing?"

Lucius looked up, surreptitiously pocketing a stone with one hand while he kept the other concealed behind his back.

"I didn't know how else to reach you," he said, grinning. "I've called at the front door, but your mother won't let me in. She says you've gone mad."

"She's right." Despite her words, Narcissa couldn't shake the smile that had begun to slide onto her lips.

 _He does still love me._ She could see it in his eyes.


	8. Bad Blood

_**08\. Bad Blood**_

 **" _Band-Aids don't fix bullet holes"_**

 **1976**

"It's over. Let it go. You can't hold it against him forever."

"I can't?" Lucius raised a brow, watching Walden closely.

"No, you can't, considering you two have to work together, still. Besides, I really don't think Narcissa would want—"

"Walden, don't." Lucius knew his friend was right. Narcissa had told him as much on several occasions, when she'd noticed that the bitterness and resentment that remained between Lucius and Augustus were sharp enough to cut anyone unfortunate enough to enter a room with both of them simultaneously. Lucius knew he technically couldn't blame Augustus for what had transpired, either, but he did his best to forget that bit of information.

Augustus Rookwood hadn't been the reason for the ending of the engagement between Lucius and Narcissa, but he had certainly capitalized on the situation. Lucius had been aware of Rookwood's feelings for Narcissa before she'd broken the engagement, but he hadn't anticipated his now-former friend would betray his trust by acting on those feelings so quickly. Even now, when Narcissa had chosen Lucius and confessed that she'd never stopped loving him, he couldn't shake the bad taste that filled his mouth each time he thought of her in Rookwood's arms.

"You won, mate. Don't be an arse about it."

Lucius shook his head and turned away from Walden, starting toward the room where the other Death Eaters awaited them. He'd taken his time arriving at this particular meeting, as he knew Augustus was in charge of briefing the rest on what he'd learned from his contacts at the Ministry. Something about listening to the man's voice longer than absolutely necessary was dreadfully unappealing, and besides, the Dark Lord wasn't expected to be in attendance.

Lucius pushed open the doors and ignored the glances of the dozen people seated at the table before him.

"My apologies for my tardiness," he said flatly. "I had _important_ things to deal with."

His gaze touched on that of Augustus, whose open mouth suggested he had been in the middle of a sentence when the doors had opened. Lucius kept his expression decidedly neutral, and Augustus let out a sigh.

"Take a seat."

As he settled into the vacant chair directly opposite where Rookwood sat, Lucius smiled.

"Please, do go on."


	9. Wildest Dreams

_**09\. Wildest Dreams**_

 **" _He's so tall and handsome as hell, he's so bad but he does it so well"_**

 **1977**

Narcissa stood at the edge of the drawing room, having decided to linger near the walls until her husband returned. Her mother-in-law was occupied with the other guests, and it wasn't that Narcissa felt uncomfortable speaking with Seraphina alone, but that she was certain the elder woman would inquire as to the whereabouts of her son. Narcissa didn't want to have to tell Seraphina that Lucius was late to his mother's birthday celebration because he was out doing something or other for the Dark Lord.

Eventually, she slipped away from the crowd and out onto the lawn, resting her shoulder against an old tree and watching the gradual fading of the light as the last tendrils of sunshine crept downward over the horizon. She'd chosen a white dress that fell only to her mid-calf, which she had just begun to regret due to the chill of the breeze when a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind.

"You're very late," she said, looking upward with a smile as Lucius leaned over her, smirking down at her as his arms tightened around her waist and his hands paused on her hips.

"And you're very short."

"Only in comparison." Narcissa elbowed her husband lightly in the stomach, and Lucius chuckled.

"That's not entirely true," he said.

"Regardless, my height isn't what's going to get us in trouble. The fact that the party started over an hour ago, however…" She traced his hands with her fingertips, and she paused when her gaze landed on a dark smear along his wrist. It was a deep red, and she couldn't deny that she knew exactly what it was.

Blood.

She wiped the smudge away with her thumb and closed her eyes momentarily as he laid a kiss on her neck. She asked very little about what he did while he was away; at times, she found it incredibly difficult to reconcile the man whose kiss so easily turned her knees weak with someone who'd done something resulting in the shedding of blood probably only minutes before.

"You're probably right," he said, and she shivered lightly as his breath tickled her neck. "We should go in before Mother misses us too terribly. You… remember where we put her gift, don't you?"

"Of course." Narcissa smiled. She turned to face Lucius and stretched up to kiss his cheek before grabbing his hand and giving him a pull toward the Manor, the proof of his other activities already far from her mind.


	10. How You Get The Girl

**A/N: This picks up immediately after "I Wish You Would."  
**

* * *

 _ **10\. How You Get The Girl**_

 **" _I want you for worse or for better, I would wait for ever and ever, broke your heart, I'll put it back together, I would wait for ever and ever"_**

 **1975**

As Lucius stared up at her from the ground outside Narcissa's second-floor window, he couldn't keep himself from grinning. At the masquerade, he'd learned that she still loved him. Months of unreturned conversational efforts and unopened letters were forgotten, and he'd decided to double his resolve. She still loved him—now he only needed her to understand that he felt the same and that he always would.

"I didn't know how else to reach you," he said. "I've called at the front door, but your mother won't let me in. She says you've gone mad."

"She's right."

She started to smile, and the sight drew a laugh from his lungs. Oh, she was so beautiful when she smiled. _All the time_ ,he amended mentally, _but especially then._ She was in her nightgown with her hair hanging loose down her back, and she didn't appear to be wearing any cosmetics, but he still found her the loveliest thing he'd ever seen.

"I don't believe it," he said. "And just in case I haven't said it recently, you're radiant."

Narcissa sighed and shook her head, and Lucius watched as her cheeks filled with color. "Even if I believed you," she said, "I'd wonder what that has to do with me being mad."

Lucius shrugged, smiling. "Not a thing. Just thought you should know, and so I changed the topic of conversation. I'll change it again, if you don't mind." When he spoke again, his tone was suddenly very serious. "I ruined things with you, Narcissa. I let my pride and my ambitions get between us, and I was too selfish to realize you were so unhappy. Since then, I've been in absolute hell. Every day, every minute, every _second_ I spend wishing I could make things right by you. I've been more miserable than I can ever tell you. I wish I knew the right words. But I've made myself a promise, and I'd like to make the same one to you, if you'll let me."

He watched her shoulders rise as she inhaled deeply. "What is that?"

"I'll do anything for you."

There was a long pause. She watched him, seemingly unsure of what to say. After several moments, he spoke again.

"If you ask me to change anything about myself, anything at all, I'll do it without a second thought. If you ask me to change my name, my life, or anything else you like, I won't hesitate. But there's one thing I'll never be able to change. I can't live without you, Narcissa Black. I've been dying every day since you left me, and I'll die again. I'm not asking you to agree to marry me, Cissy, not yet. But I would very much like, if it doesn't sound so utterly terrible to you, for us to try this again. I'll take you dancing and write you poems, if that's what you want, and I won't let our parents interfere. It will be just you and me and whatever we want our futures to be."

He held out the hand he'd been concealing behind his back, which held a perfect white rose.

"Could you ever consider forgiving a fool like me?"

A second passed in stillness, and then she disappeared from the window. He stared at the spot where she'd been, his heart pounding. _I said too much. I took it too far. I blew the only chance I'm going to_ —

Movement caught his eye, and he turned his head toward the source. She was running across the grass toward him, evidently having out the front door and around the house. She slammed into him with more force than he'd realized her capable of and threw her arms around his neck, and as he wrapped his own around her tightly, he realized she was weeping.

"I love you," she said into his shirt.

He laughed, holding her tightly. "I love you, too."


	11. This Love

_**11\. This Love**_

 **" _This love is a life back from the dead, oh, these hands had to let it go free, and this love came back to me, oh"_**

 **1997**

A hand rested on her shoulder, and Narcissa's eyes fluttered open as her mind struggled to determine how long she had been asleep. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, could it? She'd only closed her eyes briefly as she sat in the chair. She turned her head blearily toward the touch, and she was unable to stop the gasp that burst through her lips. _I'm still asleep_ , she thought. _It's just a wonderful, perfect dream._

Her husband stood before her, his hand lying on her shoulder as he watched her as though through a trance. He wore the coarse prison uniform in which she had last seen him, and he was paler and more frail-looking than he'd ever been before with dark circles lining his eyes. Still, he was just as handsome as he'd always been.

"Lucius?"

He stared at her for a long moment, smiling lovingly and taking her in as Narcissa forced her trembling legs to hold her weight and got to her feet. She took a step closer, making her way around the chair, and reached out to rest her hand lightly on the side of his face, his warmth assuring her that he was, in fact, here.

"How?"

He shook his head, his smile remaining. "Later."

Narcissa threw herself at him, squeezing him from the side as tightly as her arms would allow. He let out a tiny " _Oof_ " on impact, followed by a small chuckle as he turned in her arms to hold her, pulling her face into his chest.

"You're home."

"Yes, Cissy, I'm home."

He laid his hands on either side of her face and lifted it gently, leaning down to claim her lips in a passionate kiss. The feeling of his lips moving against hers was bliss, after so long apart. Narcissa's hands danced up to rest on Lucius's chest, and she felt the rapid beating of his heart indicating that he had missed her just as much. He let one hand drift slowly from her face, caressing her skin as it moved down her neck and over her shoulder to lightly trace her side. He seemed to be trying to determine whether she was real, just as she sought to prove of him.

She shifted one hand down to rest on his reassuringly, guiding it down to her waist as she tilted her head to deepen the kiss. His hand closed around her waist, and he pulled her carefully toward the door. She struggled not to trip over her feet as she followed him out into the hall, where she pressed herself flush against him, abandoning caution in favor of the haze brought on by her return to his arms. Lucius hesitated only for an instant before pulling her closer. Narcissa could not imagine what he must have endured over the last year, but it was clear that he still wasn't certain whether it had really ended. She was half-convinced that she was dreaming, as well, but if so, she did not wish to wake.


	12. I Know Places

_**12\. I Know Places**_

 **" _I can hear them whisper as we pass by (I I I I, I I I I), it's a bad sign, bad sign (I I)"_**

 **1998**

He knew they would be called in for questioning, likely sooner rather than later, but for now, they were free to leave. Lucius forced his stiff legs to carry him forward, his arm around Narcissa's waist and their son walking on her other side as they made their way through the Great Hall.

This was where they'd gone to school—where they'd spent endless hours and talked and eaten with friends in a time before war. The first wave of fighting had begun while Lucius and Narcissa had still been here as students, but he recalled a time before that when these halls had known peace. Now, Hogwarts had seen bloodshed firsthand, and many of the people seated alongside their dead friends and relatives were staring at the small group making its way toward the doors.

Lucius heard several crude words and unmasked insults hurled in the direction of his family as they walked, but he kept his attention directed pointedly forward, refusing to give these people a reaction.

They had no idea what he'd endured already or what Narcissa and Draco had suffered. The people flinging pointed words at them—blaming them, when they'd been just as powerless to stop what the Dark Lord had put in motion as had anyone else, even when they'd wanted out long ago—would never know that the three Malfoys had been just as ready for the war to end as had the rest of the world. These people didn't know or care that Narcissa had lied to the Dark Lord to get into the castle and find Draco or that any loyalty she and Lucius had once held for their leader was long-since dead.

The people filling the Great Hall only saw them, Lucius knew, as having fought on the wrong side.

"Let's get out of here," he said quietly, starting through the doors.


	13. Clean

_**13\. Clean**_

 **" _And by morning, gone was every trace of you, I think I am finally clean"_**

 **1998**

The last of the debris remaining from the broken chandelier had been swept from the floor, and the room upstairs that the Dark Lord had commandeered had been completely emptied. Narcissa had decided having the linens burned was the best way to rid herself and the house of the memories of the man who had forced his way into the lives of everyone within Malfoy Manor, and she couldn't describe the depth of the liberation she felt, now that the remnants of the hell her family had suffered had been washed away.

She sat beside Lucius at the long, ornate table in the dining room, and now that the war had ended, she could almost allow herself to forget that less than a year earlier, the body of a Hogwarts professor had fallen to this same polished wood to be consumed by a serpent in front of herself, her husband, their son, and a room full of people they'd either considered friends or would've banished from the house if the choice had been theirs to make.

Narcissa reached out to take her husband's hand gently, and he watched her with a soft smile. She knew that it would take time for the truth of their newfound freedom to set in, but already, she had noticed that he seemed exponentially happier over the last few weeks than he had since before his imprisonment almost two years earlier.

She reached out with her free hand to trace the skin of his forearm. The black mark that had claimed his loyalty for so long had almost entirely faded, and with it, the majority of her fears. The transition to life after the Dark Lord would not be without its complications, but at least Narcissa and Lucius would be facing those difficulties together.

She leaned her head against his shoulder as she'd done thousands of times before and sighed, and as the breath left her lungs, she pushed out as much of her worry as she could manage. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and a moment later, she felt him press a kiss to her hair.

"We're going to be fine," he said.

She'd heard those words so many times she'd lost track of how often they'd been said, but this time, she decided to allow herself to believe them.


End file.
